Please Come Out

When I think of you,
my heart skips a beat.

I want to see you,
but you always play hide and seek.

Jumping from one date to another,
you're so full of mystery.

I don't mind if you're 70, 85 or even 100,
heck I like you more if you're 100!

I hope you start with A,
because I don't like other alphabets.

But I'm going to accept you somehow,
because you're a reflection of myself.

You don't have to show yourself to everybody,
just for my eyes only.

Don't be shy,
I've waited too long.

So please pretty please my dear EXAM RESULTS, please come out,
and give my heart some peace.

The Barrenness of Each Day in Times of Holiday

The hecticness of the past weeks had somehow consumed me in a way that left me drained of energy. Hours of sleepless nights working my brain out so I won't shed too much tears at the end of the line (when the result of examinations come up) and now I'm pretty much sleeping all the time. Falling into a deep quiescence.

I could still remember, in one of my OHANA this one sentence that froze me for a second, for I was stupid enough not to recognize the one simple fact :-
'Kelapangan itu jalan kepada kemaksiatan'

How true it is! For when even for the shortest moment when we're seemingly free from any kind of obligations, we ceaselessly drown ourselves in deceitful joy and pleasure. Some of us.
Why is it deceitful you  may ask?
As much as I want to believe it has brought upon me a great happiness, it was not real. For I believe real happiness can only be gained through any acts that strengthen your relationship with God.
My, my, and I ponder the barrenness of each day in times of holiday in my life so far.


For when I close my eyes
Oblivious to the arid life surrounding me
I become nothingness
Void of any emotion of some sort

Averting regret and sorrow
and gloom and sadness
Waiting for a day when futility
is nothing more than just a word

A deep somber is all I need for now
Oblivious to the arid life surrounding me
I become nothingness
Void of any emotion of some sort
A fraudulent escapee
against myself

Love Again

And your heart skips a beat
As his glance meets your eyes
Could he know?
Oh but I wish he would

So I can save all this uneasiness
Hours of hopeful reverie
Hoping for a future
With us in the picture

Ah I give up on love. Love as in between lovers kind of love.
I think love is one of the biggest paradoxes in life, don't you agree?
It makes you happy and sad at the same time.
It makes you smile and cry the next day.
It makes you angry yet, you always go back to that person.
You hate him and then you like him.
You're a rational and also a crazy person.
You have a friend, and then a lover, and then a stranger.

Why do I have to face this again? Shit I hate love relationships, especially one-sided and temporary ones. Everyone gets hurt in this kind of relationship. The one whose love is not returned and the one who is unable to return the love. You used to become friends and hang out and have fun until it becomes something else and now you don't even talk to each other. Anger is sparked, hope is diminished, grudge is seeded, and trust is locked deep inside the soul.

This is a most common love relationship graph that I made according to my own interpretation of it.

A: if the relationship continues
B: if the relationship ends
a: when you get to know each other
b: conflicts: hesitation whether this is love or not, false assumptions and the best part since you're trying to woo the guy
c: honeymoon stage yeah baby
d: comfort zone where you often take your partner for granted
e: misunderstandings
f: reconciliation
g: conclusion: break up or continue

I like graphs and mathematics. But I can't figure out a love equation because I'm not experienced enough haha. I heard one of my friends is getting married and it makes me nervous. I don't think about this before but now I think I have to. I'll just ask my parents to find someone I can marry when I'm 26. It's permanent (hopefully) and the best way to have a good family.
Leading a single life as a career woman doesn't sound so bad either.

I want a bit of rainbow

Oh my god...6 more days and I'll be on the plane to my home country. I can't help feeling scared and excited at the same time.

Anyway, during the 3 months break I'm thinking of making some money. Well, I don't really know what sort of job I can do that won't consume a lot of my time. I thought of writing a book or something, like my mom. I really do hope I possess her marvellous talent in writing as well and she can guide me too. So, it will be really convenient.

BUT IF I CAN'T WRITE A BOOK, what work can I do? Working in a bakery previously was quite okay, but I won't be able to take care of my younger siblings. But I do need some cash to go on a road trip around Malaysia, or at least to some of the nearer states.
Or maybe I should use my current savings right now. I don't want my youth to be dull and boring...it won't be a good story to be told to my future grandchildren.

I don't know
Oh my youth is fading away
Resembling the pale grey colour on an old photograph

How I feel so restless
And the sighs as loyal companions
Please, I want to walk on the striking rainbow

silly me

LMAO rolling on my bed thinking about it. Well, truthfully it may not sounded that funny at all, but it totally cracked me up.
I suddenly remember an idiotic mirth that happened when I was in secondary school. I think I was in form 3 or form 4 and I had Pn. Hakimah (I'm pretty sure I have it right) as my English teacher.

Te whole class had a free period or so thought since I was idly reading an English novel in the class. As expected naturally I would bump into words that I did not understand, and the lucky word of the day was..I'd save it for the last.

As expected naturally in an English class with an English teacher in front, I headed to her to clear my obscurity.

"Teacher, what does this word mean?"
Looking a bit uneasy, she asked "Where did you find this word?"
 "Oh..I was reading this novel. How do you pronounce this? a-shol? e-shol?"
"It's a bad word. Don't concern yourself with this.."

Unsatisfied, I asked my friend about it.
And of course she ended up laughing and calling me stupid. I bet you could guess already what the word is. Sigh.
The synonym for it is 'butthole'.

Blackbird and Blarney Castle

Assalamualaikum and Hi:)

Today I went to Blarney Castle and took a lot of pictures. The view was breathtaking and the place was actually quite wide. I walked alongside a river with clear flowing water, and just enjoyed the view basically. There were two main highlights of the place; Blarney Castle (of course) and Rock Close.

There was an old small cave, with one opening. I had to crouch down to enter and it was damn scaryT.T I didn't think caves could be so damn terrifying, but it got me thrilled too haha. Unfortunately, I hesitated on kissing the infamous Blarney Stone. The experience was not that nerve-wrecking really due to probably the fact that the stone was located twenty feet above the ground and entered your head through a small opening to kiss it, just that I heard bad disgusting rumours that some irresponsible people peed onto it. I know, effing-what-the-heck-was-I-thinking-YUCKKKK but it turned out the stone was guarded by this old kind guy who smiled a lot and he also cleaned it several times a day. And it's such a waste since you have no Blarney Stone anywhere else and Winston Churchill kissed the stone too on 1912. (perverted thought interrupting: so many indirect kisses bleurghh) Still, the rumours could have been true. If you're wondering whether I kissed it or not, I ain't gonna tell ya hehe:P

This is a part of Rock Close. Just below this stance, you can see a cute small waterfall

I think it's a cherry blossom tree. Regardless, one cannot disagree on its beauty

The rocks look pretty much like that. Actually, this is a Sacrificial Altar of a witch.

Wishing Steps. If you descend the stairs and go back up with your eyes closed, your wish may just be granted. Also if you walk backwards.

It's still a wonder how this stature was developed. It reminded me of Snow White when the old witch wanted to kill the prince and she pushed a big rock like this down the hill

And walaaaaa...Blarney Castle

About Rock Close, there's nothing much I could say about. Pictures may paint a thousand words but sometimes you just have to watch it for yourself to get the 'feel'.
Enjoy the pictures:)

And I made a cover on Blackbird by the Beatles. Despite my unqualified skill to play it, but well who says you have to play it perfectly to enjoy a song. Just my own personal indulgence:)

I'll be having my summer exam in two weeks time, so wish me luck. And good luck too in your studies. Take care.

common courtesy

How are you?
if i'm fine we just go on
if i'm sick you show concern
if it starts with a well...and you will oh
and some other variations
but often I wonder how much honesty in every word
or is it just based on common courtesy

I love you
and you say I love you too
and that you miss me
and how you can't wait for us to meet
and how we should do this and that
but again often I wonder, as I start to quiver
will it lead me to disappoinment
forming an empty hope
based on common courtesy

but I'm willing to believe
and act along
because the truth behind is always unsettled
and it might really be the truth after all
and not just some actor's lines
based on common courtesy