Keluh

Gelap
sepi dan tiada terpinggir
dari mereka
air kehidupan yang serupa
kerana menghadapi jalan-jalan
bercabang
antara hitam dan putih
hanya 'aku' yang pilih.

Datang Melawat

Tadi aku called rumah nak cakap yang aku tak boleh balik esok. Lepas itu nenek aku angkat sebab nenek dgn atuk aku datang rumah nak lawat. Aku sedih gila tak dapat balik minggu ni. Sudah hampir 3 minggu terperuk dekat KMB memang perasaan rindu terhadap family aku meluap-luap.(ayat macam geli hahaha)

Lepas itu aku pun cakaplah dgn nenek aku. Aku gembira, terharu dan rindu sangat-sangat sampai masa cakap meleleh-leleh air mata. Demi mengelakkan malu daripada roommate aku sebab nangis cakap dgn nenek, aku cepat-cepat keluar bilik lari nyorok bawah tangga.

Yeye! Esok parents aku nak datang sekali dgn nenek dan atuk aku.
Woooohoooo......!

Actually I was informed that on Sunday there was going to be a talk on university placement. That is why i cancelled on going back but apparently the news is not confirmed yet. I think it is only compulsory for the parents of some particular students to come on that day.

Sajak Untuk Dia yang Kusuka

Salam.
Sepatutnya sekarang aku sedang menyiapkan assignments yang berlambak dan bertimbun atas meja tapi fikiran dan perasaan mungkin tidak akan sepenuhnya tertumpu pada kerja-kerja tersebut kerana sekarang aku berasa angau.
Jadi, daripada menyiapkan kerja dengan cincai dan kemudian mendapat markah yang cincai juga, lebih baik buat lepas update blog. (Maaflah ye cikgu lepas ni saya siapkan...)

Hari ini aku terfikir pasal orang yang aku suka.
Bagiku, perasaan suka itu sangat luas. Seluas-luas langit yang terbentang, seluas-luas air laut yang tiada hujung dan tidak terbatas oleh horizon.
Perasaan rindu itu menyakitkan hati kerana ia menyebabkan orang menjadi tidak keruan dengan mata yang separuh tertutup. Kalau boleh aku ingin letupkan saja dengan dinamit 100kg biar hilang terus.
Aku ingin membuat satu sajak tentang orang itu tapi payah betul.

Sajak untuk dia yang kusuka

Teringin menyusun kata-kata pujangga cinta
Hmm...
Alisku bertaut, dahiku mengerut
Mencari diksi dalam perkataan yang bertaburan
bagai pasir di Sahara
Bermain dengan rangkaian-rangkaian abjad
Yang diselitkan sedikit rasa
Juga metafora, eufemisme dan segala macam gaya
Lalu membentuk sesuatu yang ajaib
Dan romantis
Dan manis
Dan mencuit hati
Dan penuh humor
Dan segala yang indah
Untuk kusampaikan apa yang tersirat
Dalam hati dan fikiran
Agar kau mengerti.


Aku bukan nak mengiming-iming ke apa.
I just want to make good poems. I will work hard for that.

Esok

Even when everything seems to be against you, there will always be something that eventually will make you smile. A genuine smile from your heart that gives you your hope back.
Don't be ignorant, or oblivious.
Even if it is very small. Appreciate it, because the next time you face another challenge, deep down you will know who or what to turn to.

Maybe today was a sad day, but there can always be a better tomorrow.

Aku memandang ke langit sayu
Hiba memeluk kanan hati
Lara bersandar di sebelah kiri

Segala masa lampau terkumpul
Membentuk satu titik hitam
Yang akhirnya berkecai menjadi kosong

Ku genggam kuat tanganku
Dengan azam yang kukuh
Kerana masih ada matahari esok.

Nak edit lagi tapi rasanya macam sudah terlambat.
Okay...i'm off to taekwondo training.
Have a good day tomorrow:)

Topeng

Aku ingin lari jauh-jauh,
melepasi semua orang,
tidak seperti mereka aku tidak bermuka,
biarlah mereka memandang dengan jelik pun,
mahupun tersenyum sinis,
aku mahu terus melangkah laju,
tapi sepertinya kakiku tidak mampu bergerak.

Aku mahu teriak sekuat hati,
sampai benua dihujung mendengar sekali,
betapa aku sudah penat,
betapa aku sudah sangat letih mencuba,
jasadku seperti ingin cair menjadi lumpur,
tapi sepertinya ia tersekat di kerongkongku.

Yang mana satu aku?
Ah, terlalu banyak wajah yang bersepah-sepah,
teruskan mencari bisik mereka,
teruskan,
tapi aku sendiri pun tidak tahu bagaimana.

A Wake Up Call Perhaps?

Today after class, we got the usual usrah umum in LT1. All the students got to watch the remaining videos that were yet to be shown on Thursday due to time constraint. Anyway, the videos were pretty cool but i still think that Zinnirah's was the most awesome. Ahaha:D

After that, Aimi and Nad showed a video on arwah Jannah as a way to reminisce the good memories with her. She was happy and all in the video, with not even a bit of worry. I don't know why but lately her smiling face appeared quite a lot in my mind. There i was on the seat, my eyes following every move she made. I still couldn't quite believe that she's not here anymore. Somehow, the depressing reality was pretty hard to be absorbed.

It's just weird you know. It still feels unreal. Last month or so you were talking to her, and now even her shadows you won't get to see anymore. Although death is something that you see and hear everyday in the news, and I know it is inevitable when the time comes, but only now the reality had just checked in. Only now i can feel that it is really near, so near you won't have any chance to run and escape.
I'll pray for her to rest in peace and be with the blessed people.
Al-Fatihah

Wrong turn

I met this one guy.
He's cute,
he's funny,
he's really really interesting,
he's so fun to be with,
and not to mention quite good looking too.
He's pretty much the ideal guy for me.

We went on dates and i was so sure that i like him.
But it turned out later that he is...GAY!

For the first time, i didn't know what to say.
It was really funny though. Although it shocked me a bit, but I will live on.:D