I wondered why people could be so damn nasty sometimes. This thought always struck my mind whenever I watched another human being passed by, or just walked beside me or talked cheerfully to their friends. Full of ardor, their voices sound somehow nonchalant. They seemed to be themselves, and it’s like they were really like that, but outer surfaces could really blind you deep.
They may not be what they show to the outsiders.
They may not say what they have in mind.
They may not act like how they want to actually do.
They may smile and laugh with us, but they also smile and laugh when something unfortunate happen to us.
They may say we’re friends, but ‘Bitch!’ appear on the board of their minds.
They may show some supports, but hoping deep in their hearts that we would fail.
It hurt to find out that you’re having this kind of people all around you. Sneaking cunningly behind our backs, and afterward showing their angelic faces. These people could easily charm you and put you under a magic spell, thinking that you have finally found someone that you could trust, but then using their senses they would gradually attacked you slowly without you noticing.
Why do they bring pain to others?
My heart ached when I thought of them. They already gave me pain, and I...
I'm freaking mad! Those imbeciles, i wanna all of them into a box and send it to the North Pole so they will all freeze to death. hahaha(evil laugh..)
kay kay just kidding ;p
nevertheless...i hope they have a solid reason for doing this, and not for the sake of pure evilness(=.=)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Orientation
i've joined KMB on 23rd of June.
seen a lot of hot people there.haha
so i can refreshed my eyes quite often.
and as usual we have orientation. initially it damn sucked.
i was pretty homesick and i just wanted to go home every minute when i was there.
we had to get up at 4.30am and go to sleep at 11-12pm.
4 hours of sleep was not enough, for god's sake!!
so the morning after that when we had ceramah, my head was like a balloon full of water. hahaha...
fortunately there was no ragging.
but now i don't think it's that bad.
nevertheless, i couldn't understand why they have to separate the outing days for guys and girls.we have to go back before 7pm anyways..
thats all. and to all the people who had just started college..goodluck to u guys and hopefully you'll have fun!:D
seen a lot of hot people there.haha
so i can refreshed my eyes quite often.
and as usual we have orientation. initially it damn sucked.
i was pretty homesick and i just wanted to go home every minute when i was there.
we had to get up at 4.30am and go to sleep at 11-12pm.
4 hours of sleep was not enough, for god's sake!!
so the morning after that when we had ceramah, my head was like a balloon full of water. hahaha...
fortunately there was no ragging.
but now i don't think it's that bad.
nevertheless, i couldn't understand why they have to separate the outing days for guys and girls.we have to go back before 7pm anyways..
thats all. and to all the people who had just started college..goodluck to u guys and hopefully you'll have fun!:D
Sunday, June 14, 2009
UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS
kay..the boredom is slowly killing me now.
btw, what i wanna talk about in this post is
UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS
seriously this kind of things kinda pretty bugged me, altho some made me laugh.
example of UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS
1#
you were playing football or any kind of game that involved running.
out of clumsiness you fell down and twisted your ankle. you groaned in pain 'ouch..!' while holding your hurt ankle and making a trying-to-endure-the-agony face.
your friends realized the whole situation and walked towards you.
then, they asked
'hey, dude. you okay?'
haha... it just annoyed the hell out of me.
i mean couldn't they hear my 'ouch.ouch!' and see my terrified face and me holding my ankle.
it was so goddamn obvious that i wasn't okay, okay..!
i know they're concerned but seriously, the least they could do was call the medical officer and offered to help me asap.in which they did and i was grateful for that.
somehow, i think that UNNECESSARY QUESTION is something that will you will automatically blurt out in times of injuries and emergencies.
#2
you were relaxing on your bed and it's already midnight.
then, then your phone vibrated coz' you got a message.
'hey..da tido?'
or'hey..u asleep?'
'.................................'
if i was asleep(in state of unconciousness), i couldn't possibly reply you rite.
if i answered 'yeah i am' its pretty funny.lol.
i couldn't figure out why people ask that question.i asked that kind of question too sometimes and i didnt know why too..haha
however, imnsho wouldnt this be more appropriate
'hey..u awake?'
#3
you were either sms-ing or talking to someone.
then that guy said
'can i ask you something' UNNECESSARY QUESTION
or
'can i ask you a question' UNNECESSARY QUESTION
what you're saying was already a question.haiyoh...!
usually that happened when they want to ask something personal or emotional etc.
it's cool if they wanna ask that but i think they should be more specific like
'can i ask you something personal..'
something like that..you get what i mean rite.
huh..i'm gonna go eat ice cream:DDDhasta la vista.
btw, what i wanna talk about in this post is
UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS
seriously this kind of things kinda pretty bugged me, altho some made me laugh.
example of UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS
1#
you were playing football or any kind of game that involved running.
out of clumsiness you fell down and twisted your ankle. you groaned in pain 'ouch..!' while holding your hurt ankle and making a trying-to-endure-the-agony face.
your friends realized the whole situation and walked towards you.
then, they asked
'hey, dude. you okay?'
haha... it just annoyed the hell out of me.
i mean couldn't they hear my 'ouch.ouch!' and see my terrified face and me holding my ankle.
it was so goddamn obvious that i wasn't okay, okay..!
i know they're concerned but seriously, the least they could do was call the medical officer and offered to help me asap.in which they did and i was grateful for that.
somehow, i think that UNNECESSARY QUESTION is something that will you will automatically blurt out in times of injuries and emergencies.
#2
you were relaxing on your bed and it's already midnight.
then, then your phone vibrated coz' you got a message.
'hey..da tido?'
or'hey..u asleep?'
'.................................'
if i was asleep(in state of unconciousness), i couldn't possibly reply you rite.
if i answered 'yeah i am' its pretty funny.lol.
i couldn't figure out why people ask that question.i asked that kind of question too sometimes and i didnt know why too..haha
however, imnsho wouldnt this be more appropriate
'hey..u awake?'
#3
you were either sms-ing or talking to someone.
then that guy said
'can i ask you something' UNNECESSARY QUESTION
or
'can i ask you a question' UNNECESSARY QUESTION
what you're saying was already a question.haiyoh...!
usually that happened when they want to ask something personal or emotional etc.
it's cool if they wanna ask that but i think they should be more specific like
'can i ask you something personal..'
something like that..you get what i mean rite.
huh..i'm gonna go eat ice cream:DDDhasta la vista.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
one litre of tears
so many things happened to me today.
and it stressed the hell out of me.
i went for a casting this morning.
it's for a mini runway fashion show.and i...
DIDN"T MAKE IT...(started to cry again)
i was so sad, i couldn't stop crying for the whole day.
one litre of tears..T.T
i tried my best to get it you know.
i mean its like..imagine your heart stop beating.
yeah that's how i felt when they announced the result.
take your heart out and put it in the freezer.
SHIT!!
huh..anyways now i do know that even if you tried your best at doin something,
there's no guarantee that the outcomes would turn out like how you it want to be.
the phrase 'if you work hard, anything is possible.'
is a FUCKING BULLSHIT.
it depends on luck too okay.
some people can't handle failures very well..
and unfortunately i'm one them.
yeah i'm a freaking atychiphobic and i cant even pronounce the word.
grr...
I HATE FAILURES!
and when it happens, it makes me so depressed i just wanna end my life.
but of course, i wont.
it's just a thought.
neway, that's all.
a lesson i've learnt today:
even if you've given it your best, dont expect too much.
even if you've failed, just remember that there is probably something better waiting for you
in the future
and dont give up no matter how unbearable the pain it caused
(which is what im trying to do..)
daa.
and it stressed the hell out of me.
i went for a casting this morning.
it's for a mini runway fashion show.and i...
DIDN"T MAKE IT...(started to cry again)
i was so sad, i couldn't stop crying for the whole day.
one litre of tears..T.T
i tried my best to get it you know.
i mean its like..imagine your heart stop beating.
yeah that's how i felt when they announced the result.
take your heart out and put it in the freezer.
SHIT!!
huh..anyways now i do know that even if you tried your best at doin something,
there's no guarantee that the outcomes would turn out like how you it want to be.
the phrase 'if you work hard, anything is possible.'
is a FUCKING BULLSHIT.
it depends on luck too okay.
some people can't handle failures very well..
and unfortunately i'm one them.
yeah i'm a freaking atychiphobic and i cant even pronounce the word.
grr...
I HATE FAILURES!
and when it happens, it makes me so depressed i just wanna end my life.
but of course, i wont.
it's just a thought.
neway, that's all.
a lesson i've learnt today:
even if you've given it your best, dont expect too much.
even if you've failed, just remember that there is probably something better waiting for you
in the future
and dont give up no matter how unbearable the pain it caused
(which is what im trying to do..)
daa.
Friday, May 15, 2009
yayyy...thank you so much!!
I GOT MARA SCHOLARSHIP...!!
omg..i couldn't believe this...im sooo blooddy freaking fucking happy.lol.
alhamdulillah i'm really really grateful to God^^
i'm gonna do medicine at kolej mara banting
i've been wanting this since i was born..haha
kay i was exaggerating.lol.
since morning i was so nervous...
but today i went out with my friends and had so much fun.
hahaha.we ate at McD and mencapub like almost all the time.
lol..
i haven't seen them for weeks and i miss them so muchh:'))
NURUL FADHILAH (DODI)
AMIRA AZHAR (MYRA)
FATHI IZZATI (FOTTY)
ILI LIYANA (ILI)
IZNI SYAZANA (NGAU)
SITI MUNIRAH (MOON)
FATIN NADIAH (ATEYN)
NURFATHIHAH (FATEA)
DAYANA ASILAH (ME! OR ADEK)
they are my ADEK BERADEK in school
and these are the pictures we've taken.:D
memang la suka mencapub
umm..tgk pe tu dodi?
itadakimasu!
supposedly candid okay.
syg korgg...hehehe
girl group:the cutes.haha
under the tree.lol...^^
omg..i couldn't believe this...im sooo blooddy freaking fucking happy.lol.
alhamdulillah i'm really really grateful to God^^
i'm gonna do medicine at kolej mara banting
i've been wanting this since i was born..haha
kay i was exaggerating.lol.
since morning i was so nervous...
but today i went out with my friends and had so much fun.
hahaha.we ate at McD and mencapub like almost all the time.
lol..
i haven't seen them for weeks and i miss them so muchh:'))
NURUL FADHILAH (DODI)
AMIRA AZHAR (MYRA)
FATHI IZZATI (FOTTY)
ILI LIYANA (ILI)
IZNI SYAZANA (NGAU)
SITI MUNIRAH (MOON)
FATIN NADIAH (ATEYN)
NURFATHIHAH (FATEA)
DAYANA ASILAH (ME! OR ADEK)
they are my ADEK BERADEK in school
and these are the pictures we've taken.:D
cicrle form.heh
memang la suka mencapub
umm..tgk pe tu dodi?
itadakimasu!
supposedly candid okay.
syg korgg...hehehe
girl group:the cutes.haha
under the tree.lol...^^
due2 un kakak..:D
ili...i dont have a gud pic of you.:( ade satu but blurr.
and kakak ngau..sape suruh tutup muka.hishh......
thats all.neways i hope dpt jumpe u guys lg.
it has been fun! :DD
gonna miss my adek bradek so muuccchhhh....!!
ili...i dont have a gud pic of you.:( ade satu but blurr.
and kakak ngau..sape suruh tutup muka.hishh......
thats all.neways i hope dpt jumpe u guys lg.
it has been fun! :DD
gonna miss my adek bradek so muuccchhhh....!!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
OMG
OMG...OMG..OMG
they said mara result is already out today. im so freaked out!!
arghhhhhh...!!!!
my friend said that kinda a lot of our friends got it. i was like ooo..they are so lucky!!XD
and so she sent me the link to check the result
so i go to the link cuz i wanna check if i got it..
the nervousness was so overwhelming i was suffocating.lol.
but turned out the page could not be opened cuz many people are accessing it now.
gosshhhh....!!!
huh..so right now i have to wait until the line is not so slow anymore.and
it's killing me...
wish me luck!
they said mara result is already out today. im so freaked out!!
arghhhhhh...!!!!
my friend said that kinda a lot of our friends got it. i was like ooo..they are so lucky!!XD
and so she sent me the link to check the result
so i go to the link cuz i wanna check if i got it..
the nervousness was so overwhelming i was suffocating.lol.
but turned out the page could not be opened cuz many people are accessing it now.
gosshhhh....!!!
huh..so right now i have to wait until the line is not so slow anymore.and
it's killing me...
wish me luck!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
dilemma
Hmm….it’s pretty sad that I have to start my first blog with such a sad story told by the sad me. yeahh..I’m kinda gloomy rite now (sigh) huh…it’s because I’m thinking of a friend of mine. I really don’t know the relationship between us anymore.
You see, she was a close friend of mine. We once went to the same college and even shared the same room. So the bond between us was quite tough. If you know me close enough, I’m pretty damn sure the name has crossed or is crossing your mind now.
Type of bonds (sounds like chemistry.hahaha):
1. Soul mate (in which I haven’t found one yet but looking forward to it^^)
2. Best friend (still searching..but I can feel it approaching.haha)
3. Very close friends (got some and she belongs in this group)
4. Close friends (yeahh..kinda plenty)
5. Friends (a myriad..haha)
6. Acquaintances (eventually I’ll forget bout them)
Anyways…back to the story. I’ve quitted the college 2 months ago ‘cuz I wanna pursue medicine. if you’re wondering why I went to the college in the first place, it was because the course I took there was my second choice and I wasn’t so sure that I could get a pretty damn well result for SPM. I got 11A’s.woohoo! (yep I’m bragging…so what, everybody does that in life.lol.)
However, she stayed there because she wanted to study there. I was feeling very very heartbreaking that I had to be apart from her after living together for three months. I cared for her deeply and she felt the same way too so we’ve decided not to let the distance steals our closeness.
We called each other almost everyday after I left the college. At the beginning, everything seemed fine and we chatted like usual. But I dunno..somehow as time passed by, the time of each call lessened and we don’t share much. I mean usually I was able to giggle and made fun and talked for hours with her without noticing it. but…now even 20 mins felt long and I glanced at the clock so often...hoping one hour had already passed.
I’ve figured out that this would happen afterwards but then not so soon. It makes me depressed.
Eventually we have to go on our separate ways.
I loved her and I valued her.
As a person who lives together with me.
As a girl who giggles with me when a hot guy passed by.
As a human who was at my side when I was feeling down.
and lastly…
As a friend who shared secrets with me.
(hope I’m not being too sentimental..heh)
Anyways…I wanna ask you guys what I can do to maintain the relationship. And if do you think it can last until we’ve grown white hairs.
And the girl that I’m talking bout...if you’re reading this pls give me your honest answers too:D
but if this doesn't make any sense to you maybe i was just being oversensitive.
You see, she was a close friend of mine. We once went to the same college and even shared the same room. So the bond between us was quite tough. If you know me close enough, I’m pretty damn sure the name has crossed or is crossing your mind now.
Type of bonds (sounds like chemistry.hahaha):
1. Soul mate (in which I haven’t found one yet but looking forward to it^^)
2. Best friend (still searching..but I can feel it approaching.haha)
3. Very close friends (got some and she belongs in this group)
4. Close friends (yeahh..kinda plenty)
5. Friends (a myriad..haha)
6. Acquaintances (eventually I’ll forget bout them)
Anyways…back to the story. I’ve quitted the college 2 months ago ‘cuz I wanna pursue medicine. if you’re wondering why I went to the college in the first place, it was because the course I took there was my second choice and I wasn’t so sure that I could get a pretty damn well result for SPM. I got 11A’s.woohoo! (yep I’m bragging…so what, everybody does that in life.lol.)
However, she stayed there because she wanted to study there. I was feeling very very heartbreaking that I had to be apart from her after living together for three months. I cared for her deeply and she felt the same way too so we’ve decided not to let the distance steals our closeness.
We called each other almost everyday after I left the college. At the beginning, everything seemed fine and we chatted like usual. But I dunno..somehow as time passed by, the time of each call lessened and we don’t share much. I mean usually I was able to giggle and made fun and talked for hours with her without noticing it. but…now even 20 mins felt long and I glanced at the clock so often...hoping one hour had already passed.
I’ve figured out that this would happen afterwards but then not so soon. It makes me depressed.
Eventually we have to go on our separate ways.
I loved her and I valued her.
As a person who lives together with me.
As a girl who giggles with me when a hot guy passed by.
As a human who was at my side when I was feeling down.
and lastly…
As a friend who shared secrets with me.
(hope I’m not being too sentimental..heh)
Anyways…I wanna ask you guys what I can do to maintain the relationship. And if do you think it can last until we’ve grown white hairs.
And the girl that I’m talking bout...if you’re reading this pls give me your honest answers too:D
but if this doesn't make any sense to you maybe i was just being oversensitive.
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