one litre of tears

so many things happened to me today.
and it stressed the hell out of me.

i went for a casting this morning.
it's for a mini runway fashion show.and i...

DIDN"T MAKE IT...(started to cry again)

i was so sad, i couldn't stop crying for the whole day.
one litre of tears..T.T
i tried my best to get it you know.
i mean its like..imagine your heart stop beating.
yeah that's how i felt when they announced the result.

take your heart out and put it in the freezer.
SHIT!!

huh..anyways now i do know that even if you tried your best at doin something,
there's no guarantee that the outcomes would turn out like how you it want to be.

the phrase 'if you work hard, anything is possible.'
is a FUCKING BULLSHIT.
it depends on luck too okay.

some people can't handle failures very well..
and unfortunately i'm one them.
yeah i'm a freaking atychiphobic and i cant even pronounce the word.
grr...

I HATE FAILURES!
and when it happens, it makes me so depressed i just wanna end my life.
but of course, i wont.
it's just a thought.

neway, that's all.
a lesson i've learnt today:
even if you've given it your best, dont expect too much.
even if you've failed, just remember that there is probably something better waiting for you
in the future
and dont give up no matter how unbearable the pain it caused
(which is what im trying to do..)

daa.